Questions About Domestic Violence

So Forever Sunshine is available now at Barnes and Noble and Amazon and I figured it was time to talk a little about the book itself. Though the story is primarily Cher’s, her sister Shelly is both the catalyst to Cher’s story and a tremendous role model for her. We have to give Cher a little bit of credit, for in the beginning she is really just a young college kid that does not realize the tremendous impact a domestic violence situation can bring to her family. She is a little slow to realize what a survivor Shelly is until later in her story. However, she does eventually give her sister credit for the bravery and strength she finds to leave the bad situation and start over again. Sometimes that is much easier said than done.

Why do people not like to discuss domestic violence? It is more common than any of us think, so why isn’t it addressed more frequently? Do an Internet search for Domestic Violence and you’ll come up with multiple pages –from state statistics and laws to national organizations. I’ll post a few links myself. One common thread that comes up is that many incidences of domestic violence are not reported. Oftentimes the man (yes, men can be victims as well) or woman will say nothing at all. Furthermore, family members may know and not intervene. Cher experiences that herself. Her parents prefer to believe that Cher’s report is greatly exaggerated and that Shelly is fine. Why do we do that? Do people really believe it is okay to hurt a loved one or stand by and watch a loved one get hurt because they feel it’s a private situation? How bad would it have to get before someone stepped in?

I have never been in a relationship that has been violent, but even I have seen domestic violence in action. My first experience happened as a child, and it scared me to death. Watching a man I loved and trusted pull his wife from her car by her hair and drag her away left a lasting impression on me. As a child, I never completely trusted him again even though I still loved him. That was terribly confusing. So what about the children who witness this? What if it is a mother or father doing the abusing? What impressions are they leaving on their children?

Little Jacob is an example of that exact question. Brandon tells Cher that he will need counseling, and Shelly is able to provide him with that. But we will not see how Jacob turns out. Will he grow up and feel it is perfectly normal to hit, punch, isolate, kick, control, etc.? Will he ever be able to trust again?

Next time I’ll get more into the statistics of domestic violence, though I must state clearly now that I am primarily an observer and definitely not a counselor. My information comes from my research, and if any readers are in a dangerous situation I highly recommend dialing 911. If you are curious about the reality of domestic violence, please visit Google and do a search. You will find many facts and statistics. Lastly if you are a survivor, I take my hat off to you for finding the strength and having the courage to escape. Good for you! As I stated in my book, you are my heroes! I would love to hear about your stories.

Until next time… happy reading.

For further information, here are a few links:

http://www.ncadv.org/

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

http://www.azcadv.org/

A Child Is Born

April 15^th is known around the United States as the dreaded Tax Day. Many people are scrambling as I write this to get to the post office or submit their files online. They have until midnight, and the time for procrastination is over. All that can be very stressful for some, especially in this weak economy. However, April 15^th means many different things to me. Sure, it’s tax day and all that, but I try to get my taxes done early every year. I’ve already spent any refund I have by now! No, for me it’s different. April 15^th is my parents’ anniversary (happy anniversary!) and it’s also my friend Michelle’s birthday (happy birthday, Michelle!). This particular April 15^th is also important for me personally. It’s the day Forever Sunshine is officially available! Hooray!

Yes, those long hours of reading and re-reading, editing and formatting, approving and reviewing are done and the book is now released. Wow, what a long journey it has been. As much as my children detest when I say this, I just have to…. A child is born!

My journey with Cherisse and Brandon may have concluded, but I am still carrying on their tale by spreading it out and sharing it with others. Yes, we all face difficulties. At times they can feel overwhelming to the point where we may just want to give up. Nevertheless, we find our strength and pick ourselves up and continue moving forward. Isn’t that what life is all about? Find your inner strength and keep moving forward.

Though our past may shape us, it’s our future that makes us.

I hope you enjoy!

My new blog

I always feel strange when someone asks who I am. I mean, really, who am I? Am I just a mother of three healthy and beautiful children? Am I just a wife of a great guy, or just a friend to the wonderful people I have in my life? Am I just a writer who finally took the plunge to publish one of her novels?  If this were the case, wouldn’t I just be an average, boring person? Even more importantly, is there anything wrong with being an average, boring person? I certainly don’t think so.

I am an everyday, average person that just happens to like to write. I have been doing it for as long as I can remember, though I never really pursued going further with it until I had a little nudge - okay a hearty shove is more like it. Now look at me! Leaving corporate America, publishing a novel, starting a blog, going on Facebook, Twitter and all the social network sites I can think of (which I’m still working on, by the way).  Who knew?! And I do all this between getting my kids off to school and meeting them when they get home, when a few sacred hours of silence allow me to actually work on all these projects I have in the works.

I did go to college with the idea of eventually publishing always in the back of my mind. My undergraduate degree is in English with a concentration in literature, and I went on to obtain a master’s degree in education as well. Those years of study exposed me to many different writing styles and forms and they taught me about the lasting value of the written word. Therefore, I like to hope that my writing imparts a message for those who read it, especially a positive one.

Though I was raised in Massachusetts, I now reside in the hot desert of Arizona. Yes, the change from ocean to desert was a tough one for me, but I love everything about Arizona. Where else can you drive thirty minutes east on a seventy degree day and see snow, travel a couple hours north and see extinct volcanoes, breathtaking mountains and Native American ruins that will amaze you with their beauty? I love being outside, hiking and horseback riding. Doing so reminds me that we are put on this Earth for one small blip of time and we should enjoy every moment that we have while we are here. 

So thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you enjoy my writings. While Forever Sunshine is the first that I’ve published, I am happily writing and hope to be very prolific in the coming years.

Happy reading!